How Parents Can Step Back, Pause and Be Curious

The key is to shift from an immediate problem-solving or corrective mindset to one of investigation and empathy.

Acknowledge and Validate:

• • Pause Your Own Reaction: Take a deep breath. Notice any frustration or impatience you might be feeling. Remind yourself that this is an opportunity for learning, not a personal failing for your child (or you!).
  • “I see you’re having a tricky moment with that word/sentence.” This validates their struggle without judgment.
  • “It looks like that part is a bit confusing.” Again, an observation, not an accusation.

Use Open-Ended Questions (The “Curious” Part):

• • “What just happened there?” (Instead of “Why did you get that wrong?”)
  • “What are you noticing about that word/sentence?”
  • “Where in that sentence did it start to feel tricky?”
  • “What were you thinking right before that stumble?”
  • “Do you remember anything we talked about that might help with a word like this?”
  • “What do you think that word might mean, just from looking at the picture or the other words around it?”
  • “How does that sentence sound to you?” (Sometimes just hearing it again helps)
  • “Are you feeling tired/hungry/distracted right now?” (Directly addressing physiological or environmental factors)
  • “Is this story interesting to you right now, or are we just pushing through?” (Gauge engagement)

Model Problem-Solving (Together):

• “Let’s be detectives together.” This frames it as a shared challenge.
• “If I were trying to figure that out, I might first look at the beginning sound… or look for a small word I know inside the bigger word…” (Think aloud, showing your process).
• “Let’s re-read the sentence before it. Sometimes that helps us get the meaning.”
• “Should we take a quick break? Get a drink of water? Then come back to it with fresh eyes?” (Acknowledging fatigue/distraction).

Emphasize Process Over Product:

• “It’s okay to get stuck. That’s how our brains grow stronger.”
• “You’re doing a great job of trying to figure it out.”
• “Learning to read is like learning to ride a bike – sometimes you wobble, and that’s totally normal.”